Last night, I received a long text from a friend who shed some light as to who Larry Nelson is. She told me that I focus more on other people in my blogs than the man in the mirror. I guess in her eyes my blogs show the flaws and failures of others, yet I cannot seem to point out the ones in my life. So for the first time in my life I, Larry Nelson, will reveal things about me only a select few do know.
1. I SNORE LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN! Yes, I do snore. I inherited it from my mom. I once had a girlfriend who told me that she could not marry a man who snores. True to her word, we are not together now. I am not particularly ashamed of it. But I do hate the fact.
2. I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME! Yeah, this is a sad one. I can play it off as if I’m made of steel, but inside it hurts when someone’s views of me are not nice. I can have 50 people tell me they love my book, outfit, eyes, etc. But that one person who says, “I’m not feeling you.” That will linger with me for the longest time. I should not care what anyone thinks or says, but I do. At 38, that’s a sad mindset to be in, but I’m being honest today.
3. I DEAL WITH LUST DAILY! While I am not having “relations” with anyone now, I fight the thoughts each and every single day of my life. Now I know why it was so important to keep yourself until marriage. When you open that door, I think of it like a mosquito bump that you scratch constantly: You know its not good to scratch it, but it feels so good as while you scratch. I use to try to find brothers in the church to be accountability partners when it came to my struggles with lust. But for some reason, you tend to get judged on the spot as being sick, weak, sad or actually normal. So who do I talk to when my body craves companionship and a release? No, I WILL NOT play with myself. This is why I spend so much time alone. If I cannot find a man who can understand the stress of dealing with lust (as if I’m the only human being on Earth that deals with it) I guess this makes me a sad case.
4. I AM ADDICTED (possibly obsessed) TO BLACK WOMEN! I guess this is part of #3. I love the anatomy of a black woman. She can be high yellow, jet black, mixed, short, tall or semi goofy: So long as she has some African in her blood, its a turn on to me. I am not prejudice, just think the sisters are beautiful.
5. SHE HAS NEVER NOTICE ME! Since 2009, there has been a woman at my church who I see as close to perfection as humanly possible. She’s single, adorable and so beautiful. Yet she has never notice me. I honestly doesn’t think she knows I even exist. Well, yes she does. Once while on the camera at my church, it was a huge crowd there, so she sat at the foot of the tripod. I’m trying to focus on the pastor and sermon, but my eye keeps going down to her scalp thinking: “Lord, what beautiful scalp and dandruff she has!” Well, as I moved to get into a more comfortable position, I mistakenly stepped on her finger. She jumped in pain and I gave her like 7 “I’m sorry’s” She calmly walk out to the hallway to examine her nails and never came back to that spot. Lets be honest here: IF I could snap my fingers and she instantly loved me, I’d do it. But this is not fairy tale world, and I do not posses a genie lamp to rub. So all I can do is sit back and love her in my head. Realistically, it will never happen. I guess this makes me silly………possibly.
5. I’VE LET SOME GOOD WOMEN SLIP AWAY! Yes, in my ignorance in life, I’ve let some potential wives slip away. I know I’m ready to marry, but I will always wonder if the one I marry THE ONE. Maybe the woman in Mississippi who use to like me was THE ONE? Maybe if God would have spoken to the woman in my church on my behalf, maybe she was THE ONE? Maybe the beautiful cute short woman from Missouri who inspired me to write this post, maybe she was THE ONE? Whatever the case, I expose myself and come to the conclusion I am truly a flawed man. All I ask whomever would read this, is simply pray for me when I cross your mind. I am a work in progress and I know God is not through with me yet. Oh yeah, my new book is out:
For Virtuous Women Only 2….From Dimes to Diamonds.
Remember: Man makes dime pieces……….but God makes DIAMONDS!
Which one are you?
Until next time,
(Thanks for the inspiration, cute little short adorable lady from St.Louis)