FLAWED MAN…..

Last night, I received a long text from a friend who shed some light as to who Larry Nelson is.  She told me that I focus more on other people in my blogs than the man in the mirror.  I guess in her eyes my blogs show the flaws and failures of others, yet I cannot seem to point out the ones in my life.  So for the first time in my life I, Larry Nelson, will reveal things about me only a select few do know.

1.  I SNORE LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN!  Yes, I do snore.  I inherited it from my mom.  I once had a girlfriend who told me that she could not marry a man who snores.  True to her word, we are not together now.  I am not particularly ashamed of it.  But I do hate the fact.

2.  I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME!  Yeah, this is a sad one.  I can play it off as if I’m made of steel, but inside it hurts when someone’s views of me are not nice.  I can have 50 people tell me they love my book, outfit, eyes, etc.  But that one person who says, “I’m not feeling you.”  That will linger with me for the longest time.  I should not care what anyone thinks or says, but I do.  At 38, that’s a sad mindset to be in, but I’m being honest today.

3.  I DEAL WITH LUST DAILY!  While I am not having “relations” with anyone now, I fight the thoughts each and every single day of my life.  Now I know why it was so important to keep yourself until marriage.  When you open that door, I think of it like a mosquito bump that you scratch constantly:  You know its not good to scratch it, but it feels so good as while you scratch.  I use to try to find brothers in the church to be accountability partners when it came to my struggles with lust.  But for some reason, you tend to get judged on the spot as being sick, weak, sad or actually normal.  So who do I talk to when my body craves companionship and a release?  No, I WILL NOT play with myself.  This is why I spend so much time alone.  If I cannot find a man who can understand the stress of dealing with lust (as if I’m the only human being on Earth that deals with it) I guess this makes me a sad case.

4.  I AM ADDICTED (possibly obsessed) TO BLACK WOMEN!  I guess this is part of #3.  I love the anatomy of a black woman.  She can be high yellow, jet black, mixed, short, tall or semi goofy:  So long as she has some African in her blood, its a turn on to me.  I am not prejudice, just think the sisters are beautiful. 

5.  SHE HAS NEVER NOTICE ME!  Since 2009, there has been a woman at my church who I see as close to perfection as humanly possible.  She’s single, adorable and so beautiful.  Yet she has never notice me.  I honestly doesn’t think she knows I even exist.  Well, yes she does.  Once while on the camera at my church, it was a huge crowd there, so she sat at the foot of the tripod.  I’m trying to focus on the pastor and sermon, but my eye keeps going down to her scalp thinking:  “Lord, what beautiful scalp and dandruff she has!”  Well, as I moved to get into a more comfortable position, I mistakenly stepped on her finger.  She jumped in pain and I gave her like 7 “I’m sorry’s”  She calmly walk out to the hallway to examine her nails and never came back to that spot.  Lets be honest here:  IF I could snap my fingers and she instantly loved me, I’d do it.  But this is not fairy tale world, and I do not posses a genie lamp to rub.  So all I can do is sit back and love her in my head.  Realistically, it will never happen.  I guess this makes me silly………possibly.

5.  I’VE LET SOME GOOD WOMEN SLIP AWAY!  Yes, in my ignorance in life, I’ve let some potential wives slip away.  I know I’m ready to marry, but I will always wonder if the one I marry THE ONE.  Maybe the woman in Mississippi who use to like me was THE ONE?  Maybe if God would have spoken to the woman in my church on my behalf, maybe she was THE ONE?  Maybe the beautiful cute short woman from Missouri who inspired me to write this post, maybe she was THE ONE?  Whatever the case, I expose myself and come to the conclusion I am truly a flawed man.  All I ask whomever would read this, is simply pray for me when I cross your mind.  I am a work in progress and I know God is not through with me yet.  Oh yeah, my new book is out: 

For Virtuous Women Only 2….From Dimes to Diamonds.

Remember:  Man makes dime pieces……….but God makes DIAMONDS!

Which one are you?

Until next time,

(Thanks for the inspiration, cute little short adorable lady from St.Louis)

Larry Nelson

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3 thoughts on “FLAWED MAN…..

  1. I enjoyed every word of this blog! Hurray for you! This is your life, this is about you. All about you. What you think how you feel. Ur real here. I like that. When you can reveal who you are and put you out there then when you talk about your fellow man, your sister or brother its not so judgemental., because your saying i aint perfect neither and like i talk about you i talk about me too. So when you write….theres more depth to ur words because the readers have better understanding of where your coming from. Not just another commentator but a participator in this journey we call life. I will keep you in prayer and encourage you. Enjoy your freedom in telling the truth

  2. Thanks for sharing. It’s nice to feel like we’re all human lol.
    #1 – Me too
    #2 – Me too and at 38 yeah it’s older but you’re not 68 and you’re working on it so it could be worse.
    #3 – Me too and those brothers are foolish, probably lying or unskilled at counseling at best. Don’t get me started on “church folks.” I had a woman tell me maybe God wants me single. That’s easy to say when you have a husband and can have sex whenever you want and you don’t even like sex. I love her and I know she said it in love but…ya know really? There’s no easy way this is a hard hard hard battle made harder by having “been there” already. I try to watch what I look at and what music even clean romantic music because those are triggers. It’s like alcohol…know your triggers. Still sometimes it’s all you can do to just take a shower while speaking in tongues and reading the word lol.
    #4 – Gotta leave you by yourself on that one lol
    #5 – Ouch that sucks but who knows your life isn’t over so she may notice you. She also may seem “perfect for you” from afar but only God knows. If she isn’t in your life now there is a reason but….walking up to her and talking to her would be a first step you know =)
    #6. – I still beat myself up about this. The problem about dwelling in the past is that it keeps us in an insolvable situation and sets us up for failure because we can never change it. If you think your lack of insight in this area can keep God Almighty from sending you a person made for you then God isn’t so almighty then. So many times we look for “the” person when God wants us to look for “the” characteristics. Truth be told if we are living committed to the Lord and loving as its intended which is unconditionally there are many people that we could marry. I’m just saying…keep your head up and we’ll all pray for one another on here.

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