Not long ago, someone I loved with an everlasting love betrayed me.  Said some very hurtful things and actually soiled my name with someone I called a new friend.  I was so upset, I only had one thing on my mind:  REVENGE!

My new friend went down the list of pathetic indictments on my character, not only as a writer, but as a person.  I listened as I was described as someone who I don’t know or recognize as a human being.  Someone who is heartless.  Someone who is a pathetic predator.  And with all these words coming from one whom I loved with a heartfelt love only God can give you, all I wanted was REVENGE!

Yes, I had the goods on my friends, to which anyone seeing (or listening) cannot say it was not that person.  But something happened to me tonight as I write this post:  No matter what someone says about me to soil my name and reputation, I must still love no matter what.  I spoke at a women’s conference last Saturday.  The turnout was absolutely great and my books sold out completely.  But there was one woman who spoke for about 10 to 15 minutes about her daughter being murdered at the age of 10.  She described how the woman who killed her didnt do a day in jail and how she planned her murder.  Once she got saved, years later, a woman walked up to her in the hair salon and ask her, “Do you remember me?”  She was startled to be standing face to face with the killer of her daughter.  What does she do?  Does she smack her?  Did she swing at the woman’s face?  Did she pull out a knife and stab her?  NO.  She stood up, hugged her and told her, “All is forgiven.”  The woman hugged her, cried for the longest time and left the salon. 

When I think of the level of forgiveness she has in her heart, what the HELL can someone say about me that will cause me to harbor hatred and malice?  This woman can never see her daughter on this side, but I still have breath in my body.  She can never hear her voice again, but I still wake up every day.  I’m saying all this to say:  I harbor zero hate against anyone who has crossed me.  I may have “the goods” on a person to make them look bad and severely cripple their professional life.  But God didnt make me that type of man.  I am free of hatred, I am free of trying to go “tit for tat” with a person.  And if someone sees me as whatever that person may have branded me as, I forgive no matter what. 

I am free of hatred and will NEVER allow that demon to enter my heart again.  And if that person ever would read this, I say:  I will NEVER try to assassinate your character.  When it’s all said and done, we are ALL God’s children and my mother raised me better than that.  I simply bless you in my thoughts and prayers.

Love you,

Until next time,

Larry Nelson



12 thoughts on “I AM FREE

  1. I want to first say i commend you on putting yourself out here, to be ridiculed and talked about. You know it comes with the territory. As soon as a man steps out in the “public eye” you become prey during open season for anyone who wants to strike! And then there are those who think its their duty to expose you or tell others what tbey think they know. Whatever the reason, I know its hurtful when your intentions are good and another would taint your character. It happened to me when i had a small bible study,i too felt like i wouldnt do them that way. I went farther and prayed…search myself asking God to show me what i did, what did i say to cause this. He showed me too. A members Father passed and he did not know Jesus, and i was askec if i thought he was in heaven. Now i did not kno him personally, dont know what his life was like or what kind of encounter he may have had. But i did respond that if he didnt except Jesus, he wasnt in Heaven…….that did it! She was very upset with me it wasnt what she wanted to hear. And i could have said it so many different ways to not offend, believe me i thought about it. I say this to say, when something happens look to yourself, seek God and let him excuse you, let him tell you you did nothing, let God reveal all things to you, you never know what is hidden and what needs to be brought ibto the light. God is always about souls, always about preservation. Thats why i believe he says in his word that He will not except an offering from you if you know someone has an offense with you and you have not tried and reconciled. He says lay down your offering and go fix that problem. Our Father is wise. He has many good things for us. Keep seeking Larry.

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