NUMB ABOUT IT ALL….!

In October I published my first book:  FOR VIRTUOUS WOMEN ONLY.  Just a little independent book that I know is from God.  By word of mouth, Facebook, Twitter and churches I was able to sell over 1,500 copies (and counting).  From this one little book, I’ve made associates with people from Greenville, South Carolina…Charlotte, N.C……Atlanta, Ga…..Ripley, Ms……Greenwood, Ms…..and some city in Texas (forgot the name).  Through it all, what the world would call popularity I am achieving it rapidly.

For starters, I have my 2nd book being released in February called FOR VIRTUOUS WOMEN ONLY 2….FROM DIMES TO DIAMONDS.    In March I have my first novel called YET SHE REMAINED SILENT.  In May, I’ll do an all love poem book called REWRITE THIS LOVE LETTER.  Then in June, I have an appointment with Simon & Schuster, the largest publishing house in America (home of Stephen King).  I will present to them a few manuscripts that have not been released yet.  If they like it (which they will) my books will be in every Barnes N Noble in the United States, Canada, England and other countries too (once book is redone in different languages).  So why am I not happy?

I’ve had brothers call me, wanting to be friends and “hang out” with me now.  What….where were you last week?   I’ve seem to become sort of popular in my family as certain family members have gone as far as hold anger towards me for not loaning a LUMP SUM to them.  I logged to twitter once and a young lady from Mississippi was advertising the book for me, as she held it up.  I’m honored, blessed and thankful to God for His grace and favor on my life and gift.  But I feel so numb about it all.

I guess I’ve seen this in my heart for years, so once it has transpired, it was no surprise.  I guess I thought it would be a tad different.  Ok, you make a lot, but there are old bills that must be paid off.  You have people that want to get to know you, but you’re always leery about their true intentions.  I’m 38 and have never had a friend besides my brother and this dude name Randall Chism.  Besides those two, I walk this walk alone.  Yes, its lonely but that’s life I guess. 

I’d like to purchase a new home and invite my entire church over for a house warming.  Cater some soul food as the latest gospel music is being played.  My pastor would congratulate me on a nice party and home.  I’d laugh and joke with the brothers as we exchange business ideas.  The sisters would be my sisters and help with the dishes since I’m horrible at doing them.  Yes, at that point in my life, I can honestly say I have arrived.

But that is a fantasy as of now.  I have not one brother to ever call me.  The sisters probably think I’m the one that makes you laugh, but nothing else.  My pastor, I cannot expect him to cater to me.  We have a huge church.  Wishful thinking if he would want to do lunch together.  Ah well…

I guess the future is in my hands and I speak life on my writings and my future.  When the future arrives, I’ll be prepared yet stay humble.  It will be an exciting time for me.  But as of February of 2013 I will not get too excited about it.  Why should I?  I am simply numb about it all.

Larry Nelson

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2 thoughts on “NUMB ABOUT IT ALL….!

  1. You have many thoughts to be ” numb” through it all. Maybe its just that your expectations are not being met. Fame and fortune surely may come when the gift of God is released…but when its God the gift He gives is much more beneficial to others and the movement, like a skipping rock in a pond, spreads and reaches farther than the rock that falls to the bottom of the pond.

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